Last year, 2020, was a year that really sharpened my eyes to the healthy and unhealthy connections in my life. As a result, there are some individuals and situations that I left in 2020. No grudge holding over here. That’s not who I am. I just realized that a select few people had shown me their true colors over and over before 2020 and I was ready to make a change for the better. That consisted of removal of several contacts in my phone and unfriending or unfollowing certain individuals on social media.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one to fly off the handle after only one disappointment from a person. It takes multiple offenses. The people that I ‘left’ in 2020 were people who have always been so quick to point out my negative attributes … or as they say… keep it real with me. These same people had their faults as well but the only difference was I just chose to not share every single disappointment that I had with them. Perhaps, that made them feel like superior friends however that wasn’t the case. The truth was, I cared more about their feelings than they cared for mine. I realize that words actually hurt and once their said, they can’t be retracted. Granted, I’m not one to simply unfriend a person because they disagree with me on a certain topic. It’s the constant pokes, jabs, and “shade” that these individuals inflict that made me decide I wanted more positive people in their place. I wanted to surround myself with people who saw and appreciated my light-hearted and caring nature. I stopped giving that part of me to people who were selfish and entitled as if they deserved the best friend of the year award.
These were not sudden changes that I made. In fact, I had to take to pray about the reservations I had been having for years with a few people. I didn’t feel the need to announce my exit, I just quietly left the ‘building’. The reason why you ask? These are individuals who I realize aren’t happy with themselves. These are individuals who expect more from others than they expect from themselves so why should I hang around for more of their unsolicited criticism? If you can’t appreciate me while I’m around, perhaps my absence will make you happier. Something has to give, right? Just Speak on It!
Clap Clap Clap!!! Yep. I agree with so much of what you shared in this blog. So glad this past year was a year of reflection. I can agree and can say that I love the title. It can be so hard to make the decision to walk away from toxic relationships of any form. I found myself asking myself due to being a communicator if having the discussion with them would even register. Would they comprehend what I am saying. Not because my vernacular is complex, but because they weren’t open or self aware. I learned over time that after so much energy was being given to people and relationships that never poured back into me. I also found myself wanting to protect my energy and the things I wanted to be immersed in. Kuddos to you for making the decision that works best for you and taking the time to do what was rational based on each situation. This is a form of self care in my opinion. Thank you for Just Speaking On It!!
Hello again Kjoi! Isn’t it amazing to reflect upon things we’ve put energy in only to see it go to waste? I’ve driven myself crazy trying to explain and get some people to understand my point of view but the truth is that can be a full time job with no pay and very little benefit. Therefore, it’s just a form of energy being depleted. Of course, there are people that we met as children or teenagers who we would love to remain in contact with but at what costs? Are they growing and evolving? At 40, I just don’t see the purpose of hanging to people for quantity’s sake. I take quality so serious. Also, absence can make an impression that conversation just can’t match.
I just can’t care how anybody feels at this point of my life. At some point you have to choose happy. We live in the shadows of everyone’s opinion, trying to please everybody. I’m done with the song and dance.
Life is too short! Cut off people and things that affect your well being. Peace Provision and Purpose❤
I need to to thank you for this great read!! I certainly loved every bit of it. I have got you book-marked to look at new things you postÖ
Thanks for your blog, nice to read. Do not stop.
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’ve been away but I’m back to post more content. Cheers!